BWMT Retreat

By JOHN PUGH

On Saturday, September 28 BWMT held a daylong retreat at Squire Valleevue Farm. In all, 14 people participated in the retreat, which was run by Dr. Peter Beebe. Prior to our arrival he had laid out three tapes on the floor and had marked them with numbers. After we had gone through a breathing exercise in order to center ourselves in an inner quietness, he instructed us to stand on the first tape on that number representing the age when we first became aware that we were different, though not necessarily gay. We then spoke to those grouped together with us in the same age range, recounting what this expérience of difference was.

We then moved to the next tape and stood on the section corresponding to the age when we had our first sexual contact with another male. Again we told the group about us what that experience was.

Finally we moved to the third tape and stood on that age mark where we admitted to another person that we were gay. Most of us attending the retreat stood upon the 20-30 age section of this tape.

This time after we had spoken of the experience, Peter had us pick groups of four to constitute the small groups that we were to talk with later.

After the lunch break we began the second exercise of the retreat. It began with each of us taking a kind of

inventory of our lives to that point, focusing on those moments that stood out like signposts. After writing them down, we were asked to read them if we so chose. Then each went off by himself with his list and put himself back into that centered state of silence while keeping before him his list of signposts. When we had determined which of these was the most significant, we were then to try to relive it in as full a detail as possible and to write, down as many details as came to mind, trying to be as expressive of our feelings as we could be, using both images and metaphors. After each of us had had time again to center ourselves in silence and consider what we had written down. we came together in the groups we had picked out in the morning and there talked over the results of our meditations. This part of the exercise was done out-of-doors on a glorious sunny day.

THE

One member of each group kept a record of our conversations, and after each group had conversed for about 45 minutes, we came

together to talk about the results of our meditations and our small group discussions. The themes that arose from this were put on large sheets of paper so we could all look at them and reflect upon them.

Many of the signposts people. had meditated upon and discussed involved the process of coming out. Among the themes that arose were the loneliness each of us had faced until we had come out, and how we had managed to survive that experience. At this point. Peter pointed

1985 Dynasty Party

out to us the great amount of pain that had come out of our meditations and the strength that we had all found in ourselves. But out of this also came the realization how much we tend to keep our pain to ourselves and never open up to others with it, thus shutting ourselves off from their strength. And out of this last consideration came the realization that to some degree there is a fear of trusting.

On the completion of this session of the retreat, we broke for supper. During supper representatives of HIT and GEAR spoke to us about their organizations

and their work.

After supper we again separated to meditate on what had so far happened, and to reflect on the choice that would come out of all this. After an hour of meditation

all came together again and those who chose to spoke of their choices. What appeared to be central to most of the choices we made was a decision to be more open and trusting with our brothers,

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and a rededication to the aims of our organization.

The retreat ended with each of us speaking of what the day had meant to us, and then all of us joining with our arms in a circle in silence. If others experienced what I felt at that moment, it was a moment of deep unity; I felt as though we had all joined in one flame whose light shone into the darkness.

The aim of the retreat was for each of us who participated in it to come to a reassessment of himself, to find in himself the reserves of strength and resources to live with himself as a gay fatson posipicipate ef

fort to liberate ourselves as gay people, and to recommit ourselves to the work of the organizations to which we belong. The silence that came upon us all through the day was a precious bonus that in itself was a source of strength. When we parted that evening, the full harvest moon in the clear sky and the silence about us all imaged what that day appeared to mean to most of

us.

COCKTAILS & COMPANY

1028 PROSPECT AVE. CLEVELAND, OHIO 44115 PHONE: (216) 566-0060

AIDSUPDATE

·December 21,1985 7:30-1:00 am.

THIS IS A BLACK TIE AFFAIR

PROPER ATTIRE IS REQUIRED

The evening meludes the Following

LIVE ENTERTAINMENT COCKTAIL HOUR

Mona Desmond & Co. and For the Palate

CHAMPAGNE É CAVIAR

É A SCRUMPTIOUS BUFFET DINNER PLUS ALL THE WINE & BEER YOU CAN DRINK!

A workshop/training session to keep you current on the

latest facts and information regarding AIDS.

Saturday, November 23

2:00-5:00 pm

St. Vincent Charity Hospital*

East 22nd and Central Avenue

6th Floor Amphitheater

Participants

AIDS Overview John Carey, M.D.

Infectious Disease Dept. University Hospitals

Community Response Randy Gearhart Director, HIT

Safe Sex Buck Harris Ohio Dept. of Health Gay Health Consultant

Moderator Theodore R. Wilson

University Hospitals Social Work Dept. Chairperson, HIT